


Beyond Repair

by galaxyroadtrips



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (more in a sacrificial sense but tagging just in case), Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Irondad Bingo, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 18:44:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxyroadtrips/pseuds/galaxyroadtrips
Summary: He watches, throat aching, as he leaves Peter behind.(written for Irondad Bingo on Tumblr, square "Trope: Post-IW")





	Beyond Repair

**Author's Note:**

> My first square on my Irondad Bingo card! Thanks so much to the people organizing this challenge :)
> 
> This is pretty short and thrown together fairly quickly, so please feel free to let me know if you find any mistakes! I wanted to write this square before Endgame comes out. I'll also be posting this on my tumblr (galaxyroadtrips.tumblr.com) - come scream about Irondad, Endgame, or anything MCU with me there!

They’re leaving orbit.

Tony shifts his shaking hand against the ship’s viewport, smudging ash and blood across the cold glass. Outside, Titan looms, edged with the light of its sun, glowing like flame.

It might be easier, he thinks, to sit in the dusty corner of the room, between the bulkhead and piles of dented toolboxes, until they’re far gone enough that there’s only stars and darkness outside.

It might be easier, but something holds him here.

The ship’s moving slowly, with only the gentle vibration of the thrusters through the floor to tell him they’re not adrift. Tony squints into the light, presses his other hand a little tighter against his still-throbbing stab wound. The clotting compound pulls at his skin.

It’s not fair that he can hold himself together, cheat death and dodge fate and stitch up his own wounds, while half the universe crumbles to dust. When all of Peter’s pleading and tears and whispered apologies to _Tony_ of all people hadn’t been enough to spare his life.

A cyclone of golden clouds turns across the planet’s axis. Tony watches, leans on the glass. Breathes shallowly, haltingly. It’s the kind of view people call once-in-a-lifetime.

It’s the kind of view that would make Peter’s eyes scrunch up with joy, like they did behind his 3-D glasses in the IMAX theater, that day they spent at the Museum of Natural History. The day they’d filled Tony’s camera roll with shots of each other grinning under the giant whale model, the day Peter had eaten so much rock candy his whole mouth was stained blue.

There are pieces of Peter on the abandoned world before him. Tony had tried to collect some of the ashes, with gritted teeth and trembling hands, but the winds didn’t care, and they’d blown most of the remains away, across the orange sky.

So now he watches, throat aching, as he leaves Peter behind.

God. _Peter_.

His knees give out, palm sliding down the viewport as he collapses. He lets his forehead fall against the cool surface.

The poor kid. He’d been so _scared_. He’d died terrified and confused and in agony, fallen to pieces on uncharted earth, and Tony can’t even bring him home.

If only, if only he could have taken away the kid’s suffering, he'd have have cut his own heart from his chest to do it.

And then he’s pressing his wrist against his mouth, digging his teeth into the fabric of his jacket and _howling_ , guttural and ragged, the sound grating against his throat like ground-up glass. Tears flood his eyes, drip hot and slow down his face, seep into the sleeve that’s muffling his screams.

It’s not cathartic or cleansing or any of the bullshit people preach about letting out emotions. This is him leaving the ashes of his dead kid on an empty planet at the edge of the galaxy. There is no fixing this. There is no fixing them.

So Tony kneels, awash in death and tears and Titan’s fading light, and lets himself be broken.


End file.
